|
Post by cinderthorne on Jun 26, 2010 4:16:34 GMT -5
As her limp body fell into his arms she continued to spiral down into the darkness. She could hear something...Screams of terror and loud growls captured her mind. Then she heared her brothers voice "Cinder... Cinder... I'm sorry.. I'm sorry.. I'm sorry" he repeated over and over, she wanted to scream at him that it was all her fault but she couldn't find her voice. Suddenly the rushing sound was back. Blearily opening one eye she tried to focus on something around her. What happened? Where was she? "Sam?" she croaked looking at the blurred figure but then her vision cleared. it wasn't her brother. "I'm sorry.." she said weakly unable to move.
|
|
Rtamarus
New Member
Rank 1 Vampire Class: C
Posts: 20
|
Post by Rtamarus on Jun 26, 2010 4:23:14 GMT -5
Rtamarus watched her while she seemed to be unconscious. He lifted one of her eyelids and checked her pulse just in case she started dying. Finding nothing wrong really, he plopped down on his armored butt and kept her in his lap until whatever happened ended. Not to long after him sitting down did it actually end. "Nothing to be sorry about, although I do wonder. What just happened?" He asked while looking down at her. "Have an epiphany or something?" He continued, he was obviously very interested in what happened.
|
|
|
Post by cinderthorne on Jun 26, 2010 4:31:07 GMT -5
She almost chuckled but didn't have the strength to. "Not an epiphany.. I-I suffer from fainting spells every once in a while. Mostly when I dont sleep enough but I never really sleep much. Or when I'm over stressed." she said truthfully. Better to tell the truth and look weak than lie and feel bad. Looking up at him she suddenly realized his nearness and her cheeks reddened softly, "Th-thanks for catching me." She hadn't been this close to another soul since brother.... She left that thought at that. "I'm very grateful." It was strange but she found his arms very comforting and nerve wracking at the same time. "I think I might be able to stand."
|
|
Rtamarus
New Member
Rank 1 Vampire Class: C
Posts: 20
|
Post by Rtamarus on Jun 26, 2010 4:40:03 GMT -5
"You should sleep more often then." Rtamarus said, not knowing that the girl seemed to have chronic nightmares. He chuckled as soon as she blushed, how cute. "It was no problem my dear." He rumbled, going for the age old charming vampire routine. He wanted to see how she reacted really. "If you think you can then stand if you wish." He said while shimmying out from under her. He stood up and reached down to help her stand, if she wanted his help that is. "Find out what's preventing you from getting stronger?"
|
|
|
Post by cinderthorne on Jun 26, 2010 4:46:51 GMT -5
Her blush reddened even more when he said 'dear' he was defiantly growing on her. Focusing all her strength on her next challenge she slowly rose to her feet. Standing she swayed a little but didn't faint again. Sighing with relief she looked up into his eyes. He was much taller than her and she could see he had a very strong build but maybe that was the armor. Her cheeks reddened again when she thought of what was beneath the armor. Bad CINDER! she scolded herself. An airplane crossed overhead the red lights blinking and she lost focus of where she was again. Staring up at the sky for a moment or two she realized he asked her a question. "Oh.. ummm yes I have." she wasn't sure if she should say more but left it at that.
|
|
Rtamarus
New Member
Rank 1 Vampire Class: C
Posts: 20
|
Post by Rtamarus on Jun 26, 2010 4:50:54 GMT -5
He grinned as Cinder's face darkened even more. It was cute how women blushed over silly things like closeness and words. He could only think of shy men blushing at such things along with the women. He looked up at the airplane as it passed overhead then looked back down at her. "Oh you did? Am I allowed to know or is it to personal?" He asked, his head tilting as curiosity set back in. He'd try to respect her wishes, but sometimes his curosity got the better of him.
|
|
|
Post by cinderthorne on Jun 26, 2010 4:57:36 GMT -5
She looked at him uncertainly, not sure if she could trust him. But.. He did catch her from the tree. He didn't seem bad or evil, just different like she was. "You can know but its rather a long story." she furrowed her brow clearly in deep thought "But to summarize it a horrific event that happened in my life has blocked my magic, so just the memory of it has made it impossible for me to grow stronger." she wasn't sure if this was complicated but she couldn't find the answer. How could she unblock it? Her loved ones wouldn't rise from the dead and she cant think of anything else that would help her get over it.
|
|
Rtamarus
New Member
Rank 1 Vampire Class: C
Posts: 20
|
Post by Rtamarus on Jun 26, 2010 5:03:05 GMT -5
Rtamarus nodded as she spoke, his finger curled over his chin while this thumb was pressed under it. His other arm supported the chin gripper by being folded across his body. "Hm...what was the horrific event?" He asked, obviously giving her the option to not answer if it was to much. "If it's about death have you grieved properly?" He questioned, since a lot of bad things related to death. Lucky for him he was very hard to kill, and no one was really close to him.
|
|
|
Post by cinderthorne on Jun 26, 2010 5:07:28 GMT -5
Her mind played the memory over and over but she couldn't bring herself to say it. Grieve properly? There was no one to teach her or help her with the deaths so grieving properly wasn't really a subject she was familiar with. "How do you grieve properly?" she asked curiously. Her mother and grandmother just got stronger from the deaths. Other than that they didn't seem affected by it much. She had never seen them cry, just anger. Cinder only knew how to push back the feelings as far as she could and leave them there but the dreams still haunted her.
|
|
Rtamarus
New Member
Rank 1 Vampire Class: C
Posts: 20
|
Post by Rtamarus on Jun 26, 2010 5:13:34 GMT -5
"Well...first is to come to terms with what has happened. A lot of people don't so they never grieve properly. They don't accept that there was nothing they could have done, and just keep playing what happened over in their mind to try and find a solution. The first step is accepting you couldn't have done anything, even if you were stronger." Rtamarus said, entering his very own sage-like mode. "I think the first step is really the only step...since people in mourning either cry a lot, eat a lot, or visit the graves a lot. People really grieve in different ways, but the common factor is accepting they are dead and you couldn't do anything. I'd say they don't blame you for what happened and I'm probably right, it's rare that whoever died blames someone close to them." He continued.
|
|
|
Post by cinderthorne on Jun 26, 2010 5:24:38 GMT -5
All of this did seem to make sense but no... She could have done something. If she wasn't so stupid, she was the one that got them into that mess anyways. "No." she said sadly, "In this case I could done something. I lost the only two people I loved because I was stupid." her hands she noticed had balled into fists, she wasn't mad at him but at herself for being so rash. "It's something I regret every day and I cant... I cant ever forget what Ive done." She wanted to cry but didn't, she had to be strong.
|
|
Rtamarus
New Member
Rank 1 Vampire Class: C
Posts: 20
|
Post by Rtamarus on Jun 26, 2010 5:32:02 GMT -5
"Those words are the words of someone not grieving properly. The famous words 'No I could have done something' is that of someone not grieving properly. Let us pretend for a moment you are a genera; in the military, you control thousands of mens lives. They die in combat because of a piece of bad intel, or they did something brash. None of their lives were in his control, he grieves properly for his men and moves on by realizing there was nothing he could do. You lead your loved ones into something you probably didn't realize was worse than it was and they died." Rtamarus said calmly, watching her reactions to his words. "It is not your fault things went bad, bad things happen and sometimes they can be counteracted, sometimes they can't."
|
|
|
Post by cinderthorne on Jun 26, 2010 5:38:40 GMT -5
His words had struck home. She knew he was right but was so scared to let go of all the wondering if she could have done something. Accepting that it wasn't her fault was a huge step. She processed this thought in her mind.... Could it really not be her fault? But.. but.. but... She thought of reasons why it was but they seemed more feeble. Maybe she was wrong, but mother? Mother was wrong? Was mother hurting too deep deep down? All these questions and more rushed through her mind and she did something she never would have expected. She burst into tears "I know!" she choked out and threw her arms around his waist her head resting on his chest and sobbed deeply her entire body shaking. She couldn't remember the last time she had cried this much.. Actually no she did remember but that had been long time ago.
|
|
Rtamarus
New Member
Rank 1 Vampire Class: C
Posts: 20
|
Post by Rtamarus on Jun 26, 2010 5:45:27 GMT -5
He watched different emotions flow along her face as her thoughts seemed to change all over the place. He waited patiently for the final outcome, of course not expecting her to burst into tears and throw her arms around him. His eyes were quite wide by this point. His arms stiffened, before relaxing a bit and putting his arms around her slowly. He rubbed and patted her back awkwardly, not used to this kind of thing. He reassured her in a quiet voice while holding her and rubbing her back while she cried. He felt pretty silly really...
|
|
|
Post by cinderthorne on Jun 26, 2010 5:52:10 GMT -5
She continued sobbing but could sense his discomfort and broke away from him "Sorry." she said tears still streaming down her face. Sinking to her knees she sat and covered her face with her hands. Sam.. Sam. I'm sorry Sam. She sobbed harder and thought of her father.. Oh her father the rock of her foundation. I'm sorry father, I miss you.. She wished she could find them. Die and find them. She needed them now in her life than ever before. But wouldn't that make them angry if she died on purpose? No she couldn't do that. She wanted to but wouldn't. Her sobs stopped but her eyes continued to stream.
|
|